lchry asked:
do you follow Denny's on tumblr?

tacobell:

They wish.

home-of-a-heart:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

I DONT GET IT SOMEONE EXPLAIN OR I WILL KILL

aconsultingwarlock:

itsajensenthing:

starlit-notes:

I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.

this will be my speech when i win an oscar

Don’t forget the hips, for not lying. 

awesomenerdyfangirl:

tothless:

I’m glad to be with you, Tolkien fandom. Here at the end of all things

End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path. One that we all must take…

jamescannotfly:

nostopdasgay:

everets:

Every morning the light comes in and my toilet looks beautiful

holy shit

Please tell me that was an intentional pun
pksubban76:

clarkethesharkmacarthur:

i can’t. this is real. a guy in hamilton made his family write this in the event that he died.

It gets better, these are his pallbearers
o-my-boys:

#OH MY GOD#THEY SKIPPED SCHOOL#TO AUDITION FOR THE FILM#NO FUCKING WONDER THEY GOT THE PART#THAT IS LITERALLY SOMETHING#FRED AND GEORGE WOULD HIGH FIVE OVER
phuck-hockey:

Recently I’ve hit a pretty big follower goal, and i decided i would thank you guys by having a giveaway! I’ve made many friends and lots of wonderful hockey memories through this website, and i hope that this would suffice as a good ‘Thank You’!
Prize

The prize for this giveaway will consist of your choice of 2 Shirseys from the NHL website! You can choose any two players that you want they dont have to be from the same team.

Rules

You must be willing to tell me your address so i can have the order shipped to you (your parents should be ok with this too if you are young).
Likes and reblogs both count as entries
You can reblog it as many times as you want!
You should have an idea as to what player t-shirts you want (that way i can ship it to you as quickly as possible!) :)

Other Important Stuff

You have up until August 20th, 2014 to reblog/like this!
I will ship worldwide, so dont worry about where you live :)
I will use a random generator to pick and i will then notify the winner as soon as possible!
If you win and you are the type of person who does not like to be announced publicly, please let me know as soon as i message you!

If i missed something or you have a question, my ask box is always open, good luck everyone!! :)

livelovehep:

sunalwaysshining:

meladoodle:

what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please

I just spit out my coffee

You’re supposed to swallow it

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer"

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

thegreensanitarium:

riverdogproductions:

newworldorganization:

drifterscave:

doitsundere:

anal0g2:

asvpyeezy:

kanye sleeping.

shhhh

Kanye Rest

in his Kanye Nest

when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best

This is the tale of Kanye West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye Rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.

did you just

this sounds like the intro theme song to a children’s show about kanye west going on adventures and respecting the sanctity of nap time